


The leader in red and the singing cynic

by Lilith_the_ancient



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Musician Grantaire, slow building relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-29
Updated: 2013-10-29
Packaged: 2017-12-30 21:44:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1023736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilith_the_ancient/pseuds/Lilith_the_ancient
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone is aware that Grantaire is in love with Enjolras. Enjolras is not interested. He thinks R is only interested in his looks and that the man is completely useless. After Enjolras goes a bit too far in his admonishments, R leaves the meeting hurt and Jehan asks Enjolras to check out a youtube account. It turns out that Grantaire has a very good voice and records covers of songs in his spare time, most of which are about Enjolras. It shows Enjolras a different side of this drunk cynic and makes him curious as to the man behind the bottle and sneer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The leader in red and the singing cynic

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this kink meme prompt:  
> Grantaire is in love with Enjolras, and pretty much everyone knows it - Possibly even Enjolras himself, but he ignores it, because he has absolutely no respect for Grantaire.  
> Grantaire, while not the most attractive person, has a wonderful voice, though, and whenever he can't stop thinking about Enjolras, he covers a song about the current situation between them and uploads them on youtube. And because most of the time Enjolras scolds him, the songs are very sad. Eventually Grantaire writes a short paragraph in the description of each video, briefly saying why he decided to sing this song. (E.g. ) So basically, the videos become a little online diary for him, and people like it very much.  
> The amis find out about it, and tell Grantaire to show it to Enjolras and talk the whole situation out. Grantaire denies, because he doesn't believe he will ever have a chance and he's "fine" with spending the rest of his life longing for the other man.  
> One day then Enjolras comes to Grantaire and tells him he has seen the videos.

“…but you see, soup kitchens and donations are all good and well, but it does not solve the structural problem of poverty. Unless we can achieve a change in mentality, a change…”

Enjolras is worked-up. His voice loud and unwavering, his cheeks flushed with colour and one fist balled in support of his words. He has also been ignoring the hand that had been raised in the air for the last ten minutes at the back of the classroom. He cannot, however, ignore the loud shout from the same direction.  
  
“A question, oh fearless leader!”  
  
Grantaire is seated at the back, as is usual on such occasions, feet propped up on the desk in front of him, sketchbook in his lap, surrounded by beer cans, both empty and full ones.

“What is it, Grantaire?” Enjolras is convinced nothing productive will come out of the drunkard’s mouth. Not that he is unable to be productive, but if he is in one of his moods, usually indicated by a high level of intoxication, the man is only out to cause trouble.

“What are we really doing here? Last week we were talking about queer-erasure and the absence of LGBTQ role-models for teenagers. The week before it was the budget cuts in education and health-care. And today it’s apparently eradication of poverty on a global scale.”  
  
Enjolras felt a headache coming up.  
“That is correct. I feel that all negative aspects of society, no matter how big or small, deserve our attention and we must strive to do our duty to remedy them.”  
  
Grantaire sat up in his chair. “Do you even realize how ridiculous that sounds? We are a group of post-grads with hardly any influence at all and you want us to take on all the problems of the world?”  
  
“Well, not with that attitude.”  
  
Exasperated, Grantaire threw his sketchbook on the table, “You are deluded! You have delusions of grandeur. And do you know what will come of these meetings? Nothing! Absolutely nothing. If we don’t choose a small cause, preferably limited to this institution, but try to take on everything, we haven’t got a chance. We can talk about philosophy and human nature until the cows come home, but at the end of the day you are just one more student talking about the change you wish to see in society, so you can pat yourself on the back.”  
  
Colour rushed to Enjolras’ face and his fists balled in anger. “Who are you to tell me I don’t accomplish anything? Where are you when we volunteer at homeless shelters? Where are you when we hold political rally’s? Where were you at Occupy London? Drunk in some ditch, I bet. We all know you only come here to satisfy your pathetic crush. It’s disgusting!”

Everyone in the room held their breath. Jehan chewed on his fingernail, something he was prone to do when nervous, and edged closer to Bahorel. Marius and Cosette, being the new members, looked around worriedly, unsure what to do. Comberferre rose slowly from his seat to calm Enjolras down.

Grantaire had jumped to his feet and was furiously packing his bag, his hands trembling. “Fine. If that is how you feel about my presence, I shall burden you with it no longer, your highness.” He slung his bag over a shoulder and stormed out of the door. Eponine ran after him, but he shook her off.

Courfeyrac stood up and with a loud voice announced: “Right, I think we should call it a day. If you all could help me tidy it up a bit here?” Everyone sprang to their feet to try and dissipate the awkward silence.

Comberferre approached Enjolras, who was practically vibrating on the spot, and gently laid a hand on his shoulder.  
  
“Enjolras, that was unnecessary harsh, don’t you think?”  
  
Enjolras scrubbed his hands over his face in a helpless gesture. He didn’t agree, but he would not take his anger out on his oldest friend. “Why?”  
  
“You know he says thing he doesn’t mean, especially when his depression is particularly bad.”  
  
“You mean when he’s drunk, or high, or off his rocker on whatever he has taken? Look, everyone in this room has problems, ok? The difference is that Grantaire would rather drown his, than to work on them. I don’t understand why everyone thinks it’s best to coddle him and make me out to be the villain.”

“We’re not…”

“Yes you are. I have not asked for his attention. Frankly it’s time for him to get a reality check. He thinks I’m delusional for wanting to work on a better world? He is delusional if he thinks there is any chance of anything happening between us. The sooner he realizes that, the sooner he can move on. For all our sakes.”

Enjolras gathered his things and headed for the exit, but found it blocked by Prouvaire. With anyone else he would have stormed past them, but not him. Out of anyone gathered, probably our of anyone at the university, Enjolras had the most respect and admiration for Jehan. With his androgynous looks, fluid sexuality and the lack of family, his life had not been easy. But no matter how awful people were to him, Jehan treated everyone with kindness. He was always there to protect the weak and help the needy, and all that was done with  gentleness and in a timid manner. If Jean Prouvaire wanted to talk to you, you listened, no matter how much you disliked what he had to say. Enjolras braced himself for a scolding, but instead Jehan handed him an piece of paper with a youtube account scribbled on it.

“It is not a simple crush. Listen to this when you get home. Please, for me.”

Confused, Enjolras nodded and stuffed the piece of paper into his pocket.

***

After getting home, Enjolras settled down to write an angry article on the inherent misogyny of the concept of 'friend zone' and how it was both a creation of paternalism and another proof of the hyper sexualisation of society. But the words would not come. He felt restless and agitated. While no longer angry, he was annoyed. Mostly with himself for lashing out like that during a meeting. He did not quite feel guilty for hurting Grantaire's feelings, but he did feel sheepish about countering a mostly theoretical assault with a personal attack.

Giving up on the article, Enjolras got up to make himself a cup of tea. His room tended to get quite chilly this time of year and both the trip to the kitchen as well as the hot beverage might put some life back into his half-frozen limbs.

While waiting for the water to boil, he shoved his hands into his pockets, where he encountered a piece of paper. Confused, he took it out and immediately remembered Jehan's plea to check that link. Enjolras shrugged, finished making tea and opened youtube. 

The link led to a youtube profile. More specifically, what appeared to be Grantaire's youtube profile. It was a collection of cover songs performed by Grantaire.

 

Enjolras had found out that Grantaire could sing about three months ago. The ABC society usually had their meetings in empty classrooms after classes were finished or during lunch in their favourite coffee place, the Musain. However, that day the cafe in which Bahorel tended bar as a part-time job had an open mic night and Bahorel managed to convince his boss to allow the group to meet there beforehand if they would help with setting up of the equipment and instruments. It had even gotten them a round of drinks on the house.

The atmosphere had been relaxed and it had turned more into a group of friends hanging out together than an actual meeting. By the end most, except for Enjolras, of course, had gotten tipsy and a little rowdy, until Courfeyrac called out: "Grantaire, sing us a song!" This was met with cheers of approval until Grantaire was shoved forward and climbed onstage.

Enjolras turned to Combeferre for clarification. Out of everyone gathered, he knew Grantaire the least personally. Bahorel and Eponine had been Grantaire's friends and when Eponine had discovered Marius and Bahorel got involved with Jehan, they had dragged him along to one of the meetings and he, sort of, stuck around.

Courfeyrac had then roped Grantaire into being his wing-man when he went out, as Grantaire had the 'gift' of scaring girls into Courf's arms. Bossuet and Grantaire would bump into each other at the ER after Grantaire's drunken and Bossuet's sober mishaps. Incidentally, that's how they met Joly, who was an intern at that hospital. Grantaire would teach Feuilly to draw upon his request and Feuilly would repay him by occasionally buying him drinks or food. And Combeferre? Well, he made it his business to know everything about everyone.

 

"Oh, Grantaire sings, quite well actually," explained Combeferre. "Didn't you know?"

Enjolras shook his head.

By that time some of the others had found their places behind the instruments. None of them were great musicians, but they somehow managed to agree on the song and improvised bits where they didn't know the notes. It wasn't pretty.

That is, until Grantaire joined in. Enjolras was surprised at how high and clear his voice sounded, despite him swaying on his feet and swinging a beer bottle in his hand. It was some jazzy song Enjolras did not recognize about a dancing hobo and his dog or something. The lyrics were not what made it special, Grantaire´s perfect performance did. He weaved a story with his voice that captured everyone listening. Finished, he gave a mockingly deep bow and jumped off the stage to thunderous applause.

Enjolras had to admit that maybe there was more to the drunkard that met the eye.

 

Now, faced with a profile full of Grantaire’s music and a promise he had made to Jehan, Enjolras approached it like any other issue in his life: methodically. He sorted the videos by date and clicked on the first one.  
  
The screen only showed a picture of a water cooker and the video was titled ‘Boiling point’.  The description explained that it was a project Grantaire had done for one of his classes in his first year of uni. Surprisingly, there was no singing, instead it was a short piano piece. Enjolras couldn’t say he liked it. It was too chaotic. The music was nervous, slightly unnerving, as if it was the product of a not quite sane mind, which, considering who composed it, wasn’t that surprising, really. It was also, in Enjolras’ opinion trying too hard to be artsy, with the girl whispering and the sound of water boiling added to the already hectic composition. Enjolras was glad it was short.

The next entry was a few years later and did have video. It showed Grantaire sitting in front of the camera in his room.

“Right, so,” he started, “my therapist thought it would be a good idea if I talked about my depression or expressed it through art or something.” He smiled sheepishly and shrugged. “So I’ve decided to sing a song about it.”  
  
The video was named ‘Giants in the sky’. Enjolras wondered if it was some sort of metaphor, but then Grantaire switched on the audio track and burst out in what was without a doubt a musical number about actual giants. The singing was really good and the performance flawless, with switches in intonation, pitch and inflection, but Enjolras was confused as to how this song related at all to the therapist´s request.

He checked the comments and noticed a bit of a fight had broken out between people lauding Grantaire for both his singing and how ‘deep’ his interpretation was, and those making fun of them for overanalysing.

‘Of course’, user gothchick4463 stated, ‘when u have depression everyone seems so much bigger than u. I know exactly how u feel. Xo xo Stay strong *hugzzzzzz*’.

User AssCreed44 was less convinced: ‘I feel you are mocking depression with this. I’m all for doing whatever helps and coping in your own way, but a musical number as an allegory for depression? I think I’ll pass.’

Enjolras had to agree with him/her. Knowing Grantaire he was most likely taking the piss. Because he would rather goof around than actually face his problems and deal with them. He was an irresponsible slacker.

 

With a deepening scowl, Enjolras clicked on the next video, which was posted a month after ‘Giants’. It showed Grantaire standing in a room bathing in sunlight, guitar in his hands and smiling at the camera. Enjolras was struck by how sober, clean and happy he looked, all big blue eyes and smiles.

“My therapist hated my song choice,” he declared cheerfully, “so I stopped going.” Enjolras rolled his eyes. Figures.

“I thought I wasn’t going to bother with this account anymore, but then… I met someone yesterday. Someone special. He…That person inspired me like nothing before. I’ve even dug up this old thing.” Grantaire indicated the guitar.

“ _This is the start of something beautiful_

_This is the start of something new_

_You are the one who’d make me loose it all_

_You are the start of something new”_

Grantaire was singing and Enjolras was surprised to see him so… happy. For a moment Enjolras was glad for him, for finding someone special. That was until he realized that of course the video had been recorded a while back and Grantaire was not seeing anyone, as far as he knew. Had it never become anything or had it broken down, Enjolras wondered. He checked the date, then counted back as a suspicion started to form in his mind. The video was uploaded about a year ago, on the 20th of February. Enjolras searched through his notebooks in which he would make short descriptions of the ABC meetings and found the one for February last year. Just as he’d thought: the 19th of February was the first meeting attended by Grantaire. The song was about him. On the computer, Grantaire was still singing.

            “ _You are the earth I will stand upon_

_You are the words I will sing”_

Instead of being flattered, Enjolras was annoyed. Grantaire had hardly spoken two words to him that night and what? He was somehow smitten? What kind of a person would sing songs about someone they just met as if they had been in love for months? Falling for someone’s looks alone was incredibly shallow and Enjolras, who had experienced people only being interested in his body, had abhorred that kind of attraction on principle.

Enjolras cast a glance at the comment and noticed that there were actually quite a few. Most were wishing him luck with the ´inspirational mystery man´. One comment said ´Wow! You´re actually really good. Shame you aren´t pretty or you could probably make it on Broadway or something.´ Enjolras frowned. What had Grantaire´s looks to do with his musical talent? Again this dumb preoccupation with looks!  
  
The next video, which was dated about three months later than the previous one, did nothing to improve Enjolras' mood.  
  
It showed Grantaire and Eponine, sprawled on a bed. Grantaire was propped up with a guitar, moving sluggishly with half-lidded eyes, and Eponine was giggling and tugging up the sweater that was slipping off her shoulder to reveal a few hickeys. Their blood-shot eyes proved even further that they were both high and had probably had sex prior to starting the recording.  
  
Shows how much Grantaire's infatuation is really worth, thought Enjolras derisively.  
  
Grantaire had started to talk.

  
"I had the most amazing dream."

  
'Are you sure it was a dream and not a weed-induced hallucination?' interjected Enjolras in his head.  
  
"About who?" asked Eponine, still giggling.  
  
"Hush, you, or I'll tell the viewers who you tend to dream about," retorted Grantaire, earning himself a shove.  
  
"Anyway, we decided to team-up for today's song. It's a PJ Harvey and Thom Yorke cover and will give 'Ponine here the chance to show off her flute skills." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively as he picked up his guitar.  
  
The music was surprisingly haunting, especially combined with Grantaire's high, fragile voice and Eponine's deep, low one. Enjolras found himself transfixed despite himself. When Grantaire sung  
  
 _"Night and day_  
 _I dream of_  
 _Making love_  
 _To you now baby"_  
  
with such vulnerability, looking directly into the camera with sad eyes, Enjolras forgot to be affronted. And as Grantaire ducked his head with a wistful sigh at "impossible dream" something inside Enjolras clenched in sympathy.  
  
When the video ended, it left an uneasy feeling and Enjolras tried to dispel it by immediately clicking on the next video.

Which was from about six months ago and seemed to be the last video of the bunch. Grantaire was back in, what Enjolras assumed was, his brightly lit, scarcely decorated appartment with a guitar in his hands. As he started to play, Enjolras realized with some surprize that he actually knew the song. Surprise, because Enjolras was not really into music that much in general. When working he would put on the radio or something classical, but that was a far as his involvement in music reached. So when Grantaire sang "but you don't really care for music, do you?" it hit a little too close to home. As a matter of fact, the whole song was surprisingly fitting.

            “I’ve seen your flag on the Marble Arch,

            But love is not a victory march”

Enjolras realized I was not accidental as he glanced at the description of the video, which simply said: ‘For the marble lover of liberty’.

Grantaire’s rendition of the song was beautiful, Enjolras had to concede. It was well paced, in tune, but mainly it was sung with heart breaking intensity. There was sadness in both Grantaire’s eyes and voice. He sounded young and fragile. There was a broken honesty about him that Enjolras had never seen him display at the meetings. He hardly recognized the drunk cynic who disrupted his speeches with crude comments. For the first time that day he felt genuinely guilty for the things he had said to Grantaire.

With a heavy heart, he refreshed the profile and saw that a new video had been added three minutes ago. It was titled ‘Leave’ and had no further description. Curious, Enjolras clicked on it. It showed Grantaire once again in his apartment with a guitar, but he looked a lot more agitated this time and the first chords of the song sounded a little off and very angry. Grantaire’s words sounded scathing and every word felt like a blow.

  
  “And you won’t disappoint me,

  I can do that myself”

 “I hope you feel better

  Now that it’s out”

Enjolras definitely did not. Instead he felt like shit. Grantaire had clearly had some very strong feeling for him and he had trampled all over them for the sake of winning an argument. He decided that he would take Grantaire to the side at the next meeting and apologise to him.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
